Rainbow Royale

03: The Light Fantastic

The crew cast off from the dock and float in the bay for a bit. The scene on the land is crazy – most of the violent ones take off for easier targets but a few start offering money and services to get on the boats. The crew elect to take a couple aboard – these turn out to be Lord Clancy, the half-orc noble from up in the keep, and Bimgus Blackwizzle, Fairweather’s arch rival, a Gnomish bard and steampunky inventor, player of synthesizers and so on.

Clancy comes up first and eventually notices Fairweather, who immediately gives him the “don’t say anything.” Clancy quietly throws a leather purse with 500gp at him. Noisewater had thrown himself over the edge and now comes up carrying Blackwizzle. He drops the gnome, taps Clancy on the shoulder, and hauls off to pimp-slap him. Clancy throws a quick left that knocks out one of Noisewater’s teeth. Noisewater decides this is all right and takes Clancy below for a drinking contest. They proceed to drink each other under the table, Clancy puts a sword to Noisewater’s throat, then Mimi steals all of Clancy’s shit and hangs his fancy sword up on the wall.

Fairweather and Blackwizzle square off after Blackwizzle sorts through his backpack of cool stuff, lamenting all the broken parts. Some banter ensues and the two declare a temporary truce. Also a dance-off. They head to the captain’s quarters to find a spyglass. Blackwizzle steals a bunch of shit after Fairweather decides he doesn’t care. They find a spyglass, with which Blackwizzle quickly spots a fleet of Green Lantern ships of all colours headed into port, totally against the wind. The crew gets 3 of the ship’s 8 sails up and heads out to sea.

The crew sets out to the mouth of the bay. When the deadline hits, the coloured lights pulse and the 20 or 30 ships set out launches full of soldiers. When they hit the beach, they proceed to slaughter fuckin’ everyone with little regard for themselves. Half the crew decides it’s a great idea to board one of the empty light-ships. Mimi, Fairweather, and Noisewater board a green ship and discover a bunch of textureless, low-poly green stuff that ripples like water when struck or burned. As soon as they realize some of the coloured soldiers realized they were there and were incoming, they peace out. Fairweather grabs a fist-sized green cube.

A boat of green soldiers chases after the crew. They are only about a minute behind the boarding party, so Benthos throws a crimson sphere at the boat, causing an explosion of steam and fire that capsizes the boat. Six of the ten soldiers keep on swimming. Someone remembers the dwarven fishing poles and Fairweather distributes them. Blackwizzle grabs one, flips the safety, unloads it and declares they each have three shots, then reloads it. He hands one to Fairweather saying “you’ve only got one.”

Blackwizzle’s gun explodes on the first shot, splitting in half and taking one of his fingers off. The crew get off a few shots before the first three soldiers board the boat. Noisewater takes the arm off one of the green guys, and the arm goes liquid and sprays all over the side of the boat. Clancy’s thrown fishing gaff takes the thing in the chest and it explodes into a green splatter. Fairweather cuts the ladder from the side of the boat, taking one of the second three with it. Noisewater ties himself to the mast. The wizard Greases the side of the boat, and Blackwizzle throws a smoke bomb in the same area. As the last two soldiers come up over the gunwale, Noisewater FOR KRODs it and clotheslines them both off the side of the boat, the Grease giving them no handholds. They tumble into the water and Noisewater gets hauled up short about five feet off the water. Clancy likewise tackles one of the remaining two on deck, but they both slip on the Grease and go down. Borrash’s dragon breath takes both soldiers and Clancy full in the face, dealing the final blow and causing the two green guys to liquify and immediately freeze, spraying into green chunks all over the deck. The original green splatter begins to melt and dissipate into a fine green mist.

The crew decides to go for the nearest fortified location instead of the big merchant city, so they set course and sail for Stronsay, the eastern bastion of the islands with lots of keeps and landings built up against the Scandinavian raiders.



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